The Thriving Introvert: Embrace the Gift of Introversion and Live the Life You Were Meant to Live (Free Workbook Included) by thibaut meurisse

Author:thibaut meurisse [meurisse, thibaut]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2017-11-27T16:00:00+00:00

Avoiding small talk and having deeper conversations

As introverts, we crave meaningful conversation while avoiding small talk like the plague. For extroverts though, this desire to go deep so quickly can be seen as premature and even a little intimidating. In this section, we’ll discuss how to go deeper and reduce chitchat without scaring anyone.

1. Be real

Being authentic from the beginning is an effective way to minimize small talk. If someone says they like something and you don’t, then say so (politely, of course). If you’re tired, say so. If you aren’t enjoying the party, say so (nicely). By being authentic and sharing your thoughts and emotions, you give the other person permission to do the same.

2. Create hooks by sharing more about yourself

As introverts, we generally hate promoting ourselves, but it’s sometimes useful share some extra information about yourself. Instead of responding to, “How are you?” with “I’m fine. I went for a walk in the park near my house this morning and the weather was perfect.” Or you could say, “I’m great! I started reading a new book today, and I love it so far.”

These small comments can offer additional talking points to the person you’re speaking to. You could even purposely omit some details to get the other person interested. In the second example, the other person might ask, “What kind of book is it?”.

The more you get into the habit of talking about yourself, the easier it will become. You can role play with some friends or try adding comments when you talk with the cashier at the supermarket, for instance.

You can also bring up some topics you’re interested in and try to take control of the conversation right away. The example regarding the book you’re reading would be wonderful if you love books and want the conversation to be centered around that topic. It will also give you some idea of what the other person is interested in. She may love literature, sci-fi, or books on introversion. From that point, you can further direct the conversation. Don’t overdo it, though. Make sure it’s a two-way conversation and the other person is interested in what you’re talking about. Otherwise, they’ll get bored.

3. Use open-ended questions to deepen the conversation

Asking open-ended questions is an effective way to improve conversations. The more specific they are, the better, as they’ll give you a glimpse into the other person’s world. Rather than asking what someone likes to do on the weekends, for instance, ask them what they did this weekend and what their favorite part was. That’s the type of question a friend would ask, and it can seriously enhance the conversation.

Consider asking the following questions:

Tell me more about X?

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